His Story (story of my life being deaf)

(this story was written by Tiffany Van)


His Story:

“ Imagine having ear plugs in your ears while you’re around your friends…That's how my life is everyday”

“Imagine going to the movies and not knowing what the movie was about because you couldn’t hear what they were saying.”

“Imagine someone told a joke, everyone is laughing...you laugh too...but only because everyone else is laughing, not because you know what was said”

“Imagine someone calling your name out in public; you don't hear them, so they scream your name out and you get embarrassed”

And.. “”Imagine somebody doing a stupid gesture like they are deaf, making fun of you”

Those were some of the statements thrown at me, as I struggled to form an answer to each one. My mind going to another place, where I tried to put myself in his shoes. After a few minutes of guessing, thinking and wondering, I came up with nothing. So I listened to this man describe what it was like growing up deaf in America. His name? Greg Fowler…age 19 living in such a hard cruel and unjust world. He has done nothing but struggle and try his hardest to adapt to what life has brought his way. As a child things were never easy, “Not having friends, got picked on, talked about”. Such few words being spoken yet they spoke volumes! And even though they were short and few, he continued to describe to me his life…going to school, his past relationships, and wanting to truly find happiness without being judged for his disability.

Growing up deaf:

Born partially deaf to a mother and brothers who also had the same disability, life was much more difficult in all aspects of the word. Greg was an adopted child and the oldest amongst eight children (aside from two of them not being related) it was never easy, never simple, never a day of complete rest and relaxation. As the oldest, he struggled to help take care of his siblings, and being deaf only added to those struggles. Tough, compromising situations seemed to have followed Greg. From childhood to adulthood he felt ignored because of his disability, being used, manipulated and unheard. Even though deaf individuals may not be able to hear, they ALWAYS have things to say. They are always willing to teach others about their experiences of growing up, being judged, and how to communicate with them.

As an adopted child, Greg unfortunately did not have that bond between son-mother-and father, explaining to me, “Their just wasn’t any closeness”, his parents are divorced and since then he had to move back and forth between both homes. Even though Greg has not seen his father in 3 years or have had the father figure he truly needs within his life, he has not let it get him down or break him as a man. Yet one of the most pivotal and hardest times of his life, was not being teased or taunted as a child growing up…but when his grandmother sadly passed away from a heart attack. He truly expressed to me how much she had done for him, as well as countless members of his family.

“A woman like my grandma, she was strong. She had eight kids and a whole bunch of grandkids. Our family was poor. Always struggling to get by. Out of all eight kids, two of my aunts stayed with her, and both of them are in their forties; their kids also stayed with my grandmother too. There were always ppl (sic) in my grandmothers house. she never had peace. Old people deserve their peace, but my grandmother didn't have that. But she took care of everybody. Basically took care of me too because I used to always go over her house, always spent the night over there every weekend and had fun with my cousins. My grandma loved everyone of us, took care of us, fed us when she had no food. I mean, my grandma had to feed all of those damn people, and she barely had money herself. Didn't have hot water. Always had to boil water. Electricity got cut off a lot of times. They had A LOT of bad times. But my grandma still didn't complain. She had a smile on her face every time I saw her and that made me feel good. She was a real cool person” She was an amazing woman, this part of Greg’s life truly touched me in so many ways. How she showed so much love for all of her children and grandchildren, a person who willing gave all she had, when she had nothing. This truly shows a courageous woman who carried herself with much dignity and respect.

Going to school as a deaf person:

As a resident in Birmingham, Alabama Greg attended Jacksonville State University, but have since left this university because of, lack of inspiration, motivation and human contact. Talking with Greg, I remember him describing his college experience as “difficult”; “ I’m not a college person I guess, I only did this to please my mom; Everybody wanted me to go to college so I did. I want to go to college at an all deaf school in Washington D.C…that’s where all my friends are, I have no friends here, so basically I’ve been all alone through my first year. I have no one to communicate with; usually I’m in my room all day and don’t feel motivated to do any work. I feel so lazy, and since I have no one to communicate with (here), I feel like…what’s the point.”

After him telling me this, it touched my heart completely, which made me want to do everything in my power to help him succeed in life and for him to never feel as though he’s alone in the world. There are always people who care about him, love him unconditionally, and who support him in all his endeavors. In a few short days, I have been truly inspired to rekindle my passion for learning a different language…and sign language is one of them. Grabbing different books that I can read, researching what it truly is like to be deaf, and “favoriting” countless videos (on you tube). Learning sign language has broaden so many of my horizons and have given me insight on the struggles of how living in a world where 90% of American’s can hear their first child cry, wake up to the sound of an
alarm clock beeping, the sound of birds chirping in the morning, and can hear the sound of laughter.

We take so many things for granted in life such as being able to feel, touch, smell, see and to hear, we would feel as though the world around us had collapsed if just even one of our primary senses were taken away. I want to raise awareness for the deaf community not only in America but for people around the world. People who suffer from this debilitating disability and who may feel the same way as Greg Fowler in today’s society. Even though we may be a few states apart from each other, and can only communicate through web-chats and emails, that does not and WILL NOT hinder or cease my will to look beyond myself , my own actions, and my own every day life.

With such passion in his heart to become a well known poet and writer with and amazing choice of words, and enthusiasm as well as his will to become an aspiring deaf male model, Greg continues on his daily struggles. With the amazing strength and will that God has blessed him with. The heart- to never give up. That gorgeous smile he has that seems to brighten anyone’s day. His aura, seems to inspire the littlest person to have an enormous amount of hope.

Reflection:

As I reflect back on all that was discussed, Greg Fowler has much to be proud of, and that includes all of his accomplishments such as being bilingual, excelling in football as a wide receiver, running the 400m, 800m, 1600m, and 3200m relay in track and field. Bringing his team to victory and overall having his team become the best in state while attending ASD (Alabama School for the Deaf). While playing football for ASD, Greg was able to travel the U.S, playing in states such as Georgia, Kentucky, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Washington D.C to name a few. Greg described his experience with ASD as “Having the greatest time in my senior year than all my other years in school combined!!!”, “ I felt so free, you know? To be able to walk up to anybody and start a conversation via sign language, I felt so proud of my self”. And even though all of this paved the way for many milestones in his life, his biggest accomplishment was not excelling in sports, but being 1 of 2 in the history of ASD to graduate with honors”.

All of the information I received proves to me and everyone else, that just because you may have a disability, that does not hinder you from accomplishing your goals and bars you have set for yourself. You can do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING you set your mind to.

This is not meant to be interpreted as a sad or depressing story about the life of an individual. This story was created for the soul purpose of acknowledging the struggles, hardships, accomplishments, and the empowering things that individuals with this disability experience in their lifetime. For now…this is a milestone for one man and his story not to succumbed to statistics about being a deaf individual in a hearing world, but to over come all of those who disagreed with him. Telling him he may not succeed, or survive in this world and who have tried to break his spirit. I can truly say that in this short period of time, of knowing Greg Fowler…I am truly grateful for him giving me knowledge of his world and
blessed to know him as an individual.

“Just cuz I’m deaf doesn’t mean I can’t succeed”
“Impossible means I'm-possible”-Greg Fowler